no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
