Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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