you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
