Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
