Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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