why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
