love makes seman taste better
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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