shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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