in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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