Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
