And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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