Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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