its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
