no, he came in my armpit
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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