I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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