I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize