I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
