Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
