I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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