you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
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This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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