we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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