I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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