Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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