we're blogging at a bar
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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