I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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