He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
