Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
