i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
