I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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