I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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