He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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