Don't make out with my wife yet
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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