New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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