dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
