In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
