Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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