yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
