what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
