It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
