he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my being single is dangerous.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
