having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
