it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
