i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
