Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
