just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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