They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
