is wine microwaveable?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
