just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
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I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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