Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize