I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
