my phone needs a breathalizer
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
