i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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