Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
