Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
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They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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