Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
